Race Against Time
by Cassy27
Summary: Lilith wants Sam dead or evil and she has found the perfect way; kill Dean. But her plan is complicated and Castiel warns the brothers. Now Sam and Dean need to stop Lilith before it is too late, but time isn't on their side. Set during s4, mild spoilers
1. Chapter 1

Lilith wants Sam dead or evil and she has found the perfect way; kill Dean. But her plan is complicated and Castiel warns the brothers. Now Sam and Dean need to stop Lilith before it is too late, but time isn't on their side. Set during s4, mild spoilers! There could be some grammar mistakes, don't mind them…

I hope you all like it and I promise to upload soon!

_So, I have corrected the mistakes in my story, the ones I could find at least. I hope it will read more easely now and that the grammar-mistakes don't ruin it for you guys. I do my best to avoid them ;) ! Anyway, have fun and I hope you will all enjoy this!_

**Race against time**

**The world is spinning**

Sam en Dean walked slowly through the dark abandoned street as they headed home. In this case, home was a cheap motel room where nothing was familiar, except their clothes and each other.

Sam's shirt was torn apart, Dean's pants were dirty with mud. They had faced one hell of a pissed of spirit. But they had been able to fight him of and burn his salted bones anyway. Lots of credit for Sam there who had been able to distract him long enough for Dean to do the magic work!

They only regretted the fact that they had parked the Impala so far away. Their feet hurt, they arms felt like they were gonna fall of any minute now. They were exhausted and desperately needed a bed to sleep in. This hunt had taken a lot of their strength, they hadn't slept in 4 days. The spirit liked to kill one victim every couple of hours, Sam and Dean just didn't had time to sleep. They had to safe all those innocents.

After a long walk they finally arrived at the impala and they both slipped into their seat and just rested for a moment. Sam closed his eyes and laid his head back against his seat.

Dean let his thoughts wander of and released too late that he was falling asleep. He tried to shake of the tiredness but nothing worked. The steady breathing of Sam didn't really help either. It worked almost hypnotising and only a minute later, Dean was asleep.

Sam had dozed of as well, but woke up again a couple of hours later. The sun was just coming up and even the soft light hurted his eyes. He rubbed his fingers through his hair and yawned heavily. He looked at his side and saw Dean still sleeping. He didn't want to wake his big brother for two reasons. One, Dean looked like he was having a nice dream for once, he didn't mutter strange words, he didn't breathe heavily, but slow, calm. His whole body seemed relaxed.

And two, Dean always gets grumpy when he was woken up in the middle of a deep sleep. Sam didn't really want to put up with a bad mooded Dean, that always leads to fights.

He decided he was going to wait for a while in the hope his big brother would wake up on himself. He grabbed one of the magazines that lay in the back of the car, but it didn't interest him. They were all lame articles about aliens and abductions. Something Dean would buy if he wanted a laugh now and then. Under the magazines was an old paper, perhaps a couple of days old. That was more something Sam was interested in. He opened the paper and scanned every article carefully. Only five pages later, Sam noticed an article that was perhaps worth checking out. 3 women went missing a state further up north. They all had the same description and celebrated their birthday at March the 8. None of them have been found. He would suggest it to Dean once he was back to America from Dreamland.

And then Sam saw how Dean slowly woke up. First his hands moved, his fingers intertwined, and his arms stretched out in front of him. Then his eyes opened his gaze still a little fuzzy. But he was awake. And then he yawned.

'I never realised how much I missed sleeping.' Dean smiled, now stretching his legs.

'Yeah, you slept well.'

'Well, I was exhausted. Haven't you slept?' Dean asked.

'Yeah, but not that much, I'd rather sleep in bed.' Sam smiled.

Dean moved and searched for the key in his pockets. Once he found them, he started up the impala and drove out of the alley.

'Well, I suppose we go back to the motel and get our stuff.' Dean suggested.

'Good idea. I already went through the newspaper, I found something that might be interesting.' Sam said while grabbing the paper even closer.

'What is it?'

'3 women have disappeared, all with the same birthday.'

'A vengeful spirit who connects to the date?' Dean asked.

'Perhaps, I didn't really have a change to look on the internet yet. I'll do that in the motel, nice and quiet.'

'Good, I'll get some food in the meantime.'

They drove to the parking lot of their motel and parked in front of their room. Sam and Dean climbed out of the car and headed in different directions.

'Oh, Dean?' Sam called to his brother.

'Yeah?'

'Don't forget the coffee!'

'Sure.'

Sam turned around again and headed to the room for the second time. He threw his jacket and the newspaper on his bed and went to the bathroom. He desperately needed a shower and he knew the warm water would do him good. Who didn't like a long nice shower? Well, Dean didn't, but he's an exception. And as thought, the shower felt like heaven. He had never been so clean in his life before. He was sorry for his shirt though, he liked it.

'Sam?' a voice called from the bedroom.

'Dean, is that you?' Sam called back. It didn't really sound like Dean. The voice sounded tired, perhaps even scared.

'Yeah, hurry up, would you?'

Sam had no idea what was going on, but he didn't hesitate. He stepped out of the shower, pulled his pants on and a clean shirt and quickly rubbed a towel through his sopping wet hair.

Back in the bedroom, he saw Dean sitting on his bed, his hands hold tightly before his chest, his head down, almost between his knees.

'Dean?' Sam asked with a voice full of concern. Dean just waved his hand towards his brother as a greeting.

'Hello, Sam.' A new voice greeted him.

Sam turned around and saw Castiel standing at the window, his gaze focused on Dean the whole time. Sam could swear he saw the same concern in Castiel's eyes as he was certain it was visible in his own. He didn't understand.

Dean lifted his head up to look at Sam, but quickly turned it back down. There were no clear shapes in the room, every colour seemed to be too bright and the ground shifted from under his feet. He cradled his head even closer into his hands.

'Too soon.' He gasped.

'Dean?' Sam repeated.

'Oh God, the world is spinning.' Dean breathed as he tried to breath slower. He wasn't sure it was working, though, he still felt like he was going to fall down to the ground, even as he was sitting on the bad. Damn gravity.

'What happened?' Sam demanded, more to Castiel then to Dean.

'You have to safe your brother.' Castiel simply responded.

'From what?' Sam asked, still a little irritated that he didn't understand this whole situation.

'I don't know exactly.' Castiel answered.

Dean tried to lift up his head again to look at Sam and this time it seemed to work. He smiled a little weak, stood up, praying he wouldn't fall down and slowly walked to the kitchen. His mouth felt so dry, his body aching for water. He grabbed a bottle of water and drank it empty in one gulp. His hands stopped shaking and he seemed to be in more control of his body. He was never so happy to be drinking simply water. But not only was his body more in control, so was his mind. He could think more clearly, he was able to make coherent decisions.

'Thirsty?' Sam asked.

'Yeah.' Dean answered, glad that he could at least still speak properly. He had no idea why he felt this weak, almost exhausted. He deed sleep well last night, after all. But nothing made much sense to him right now.

'You must drink a lot, it will help you feel better.' Castiel said in an even tone. Still, his eyes betrayed him. He did care about Dean and he wanted him to be safe. Sam was mad at Castiel for that. It wasn't a damn angel that had to take care of Dean, he had to care of his big brother.

'Could you please explain this?' Sam asked as politely as he could. The frustration and anger did come to the surface of his voice, but he didn't really care, he needed the truth before he went crazy.

'Dean is dying, he doesn't have a lot of time.' Castiel answered.

Dying? Sam wasn't going to accept a simple, yet horrifying, idea like that. Dean was fine this morning, he had slept like a baby, he was hungry and he wasn't even grumpy. How could that all have changed in this short time? And if this was joke, heads were going to roll.

'Dying?' Sam asked while he looked at Dean who stood against the table, his arms folded in front of his chest again.

'He should have been dead already,' Castiel said while letting his gaze run through the room, a little confused by the way the brothers lived, he had never really understood humans, 'luckily, we anticipated that move and we were able to prevent it for now. But everything has been set in motion and Dean's life is fading away as we speak.'

'Okay,' Sam said slowly, 'that means... Huh?'

Sam knew his face must have looked hilarious because Dean couldn't help but smile. Sam wasn't too happy with that though. He shot Dean an angry look and quickly returned his attention back to Castiel.

'Dean is one of the most important things in your life. Believe it or not, he is the one who has kept you on a straight path, who has been the influence in your life. If it wasn't for Dean, you would have given in to your...powers, you would already be evil.'

'So by killing Dean...' Sam started.

'They are turning you...evil, as you could say.' Dean completed his little brother's sentence.

Sam began to understand a little bit of the grand picture, but still, not all of it made sense.

'But...I have my powers, I control them. I can still control them when Dean is...gone.'

Not that Sam would ever want to test that theory. He had been through that experience once, he sure was going to avoid a second time.

'That is not their plan.' Castiel said as he turned around to face the impala that was parked outside of the room. 'They want to prevent Dean's birth.'


	2. Chapter 2

**The Plan**

Sam felt his mouth fall open, he even heard a little pop, but he was unable to close it again. He looked at Dean, but he just stood there, his gaze to the floor, his hands still in front of his chest. It made Sam a little angry. He never understood how Dean could be so careless, so indifferent. This was his own life we were talking about.

'So they are going back in time?' Sam asked Castiel who turned to face the boys again.

Dean lifted his head up again. This part of the conversation did interest him. This part was not yet discussed. Sam felt relieve that Dean did show interest, that he did care about his own life.

'Yes, a certain demon. That is were our problem lies. We don't know which demon and the demon doesn't know his assignment yet.'

'How can we stop something that we don't know anything about?' Dean asked. He had gone up against unknown things, a demon who was terrorizing a town, a ghost that didn't fit any pattern, stuff like that. But his was different. This was his life!

'Lilith will give the order any minute now, we have only a couple of hours left. We just need to find the right demon and stop him from going back.' Castiel answered.

'Time travelling is too confusing for me.' Dean sighed, trying to understand the whole scenario here. But nothing seemed to fit in his head, he only ended up with more questions.

'Don't think about it,' Castiel suggested, looking from Dean to Sam and back again, 'you have one task, stop the demon, otherwise, everything is lost.'

'Can't you just send us back in time and let us fight the demon there. Then we'll know who it is and we can...'

'No,' Castiel quickly replied to Sam's suggestion, 'it would mess up your lives. It could change everything.'

Sam wanted to protest, but he wasn't sure that would be wise. He had never truly questioned an angel. He didn't know what happened if you pissed them of, he didn't really want to know.

'So, stop the demon from going back and safe my life.' Dean summarized, grasping now what they had to do.

'Indeed.' Castiel said.

'We don't even know where to look for the demon.' Sam said, knowing he was ruining the mood. The task seemed easy, but sure everybody must know that this wasn't the truth. Who was the demon? Where was the demon? Would he already be with Lilith? When was he leaving? How powerful is he, or she? So many difficulties. Dean was thinking the exact same. But Dean was also considering every possible way for them to kill the demon. He would use his favourite weapon, a gun, doesn't really matter what gun.

'We have traced the point of origin, the point where the demon is leaving. It happens a couple of miles further up south, an old mansion. The demon is leaving in exact...' for a moment Castiel seemed to look into nothingness, his gaze fuzzy, almost blank, '6 hours.'

'Couldn't you have warned us a little bit earlier?' Dean asked with slight sarcasm in his voice.

'I am sorry, we had almost missed the danger, if it wasn't for us, you would be dead.'

The hard words of Castiel felt like knifes in Sam's gut. He didn't like the thought of a dead Dean, and he was sure Dean felt the same way. At least, now they are given an honest chance for a fight.

Dean didn't like those words either, he wasn't going to let Sam alone, not again. They needed each other. More to say, Dean needed Sammy. He was the only family he had left and he sure as hell wasn't going to abandon him.

'But be careful,' Castiel warned Sam and Dean, 'Dean is dying, his heart is pounding in his chest, racing against time. The longer it takes you to stop the demon, the more...difficult it will be for Dean to keep it together.'

Sam looked at Dean with a questioning eye, as if he was already trying to see what Castiel meant. Dean looked Sam straight in the eyes, wishing he wasn't going to die.

'What do you mean?' Dean asked, but they realised too late that it was just them anymore in the room. Nobody stood by the window, watching them with a careful eye. Castiel was gone.

'Great.' Dean muttered.

Sam sighed heavily and started packing their stuff.

'Why do I always have to die?' Dean asked while grabbing another bottle of water.

'You're not going to die, Dean.' Sam said with a hard voice. He wasn't going to let him die.

'Sure, but still, I'm the target again.' Dean said, not really meaning anything by that. It was just a statement.

Sam rolled his eyes and faced Dean again.

'I bet you like being the target.' Sam grimaced.

Dean didn't understand what it was, but Sam's thoughts pissed him of. He didn't like the tone Sam used. He needed Sammy to know why he didn't really care about being the target. He needed Sammy to know why he would do this over and over again.

Dean's face turned suddenly very serious, it kinda freaked Sam out. He had never seen such a determined look on his brother's face.

'I don't like it, but it is for the best. I'll do anything to keep you safe, Sammy. So, yes, I'd rather be the target then you.'

'I didn't mean to...' Sam started.

'But this time,' Dean said, interrupting Sam's apology, 'my death could affect everything. I don't want you turning evil, Sam.'

'I know that.' Sam said in a silent voice.

Dean inhaled a deep breath and helped Sam with the rest of the packing, trying to forget the past seconds. If he was going to die, he sure didn't want to go down after a fight with his little brother. There wasn't a lot of packing to do, but still, they had to be precious with their time. 6 hours isn't a lot of time. They just couldn't afford wasting it.

Only 10 minutes later, they hit the road. Sam searched the internet for the mansions in this area and he had so far come up with 4 abandoned ones. If you counted to inhabited ones, you had 9. Lilith could be in any of those houses, she would even enjoy killing the persons living in it.

But still, 9 mansions to search in six hours, that was a lot. They didn't have time search them all. Not by themselves. Every help was welcome.

The first one they called was Bobby.

'Bobby, it's Sam.'

'Oh, what's up?' Bobby greeted him.

'We need you help.' Sam said.

'Don't break the news to him too hard, we don't want him panicking.' Dean whispered.

Sam waved Dean's suggestion away and concentrated on his conversation with Bobby again.

'Shoot.' Bobby said.

'Well, it's hard to explain, but we need to stop a demon from going back in time.'

'A demon doesn't possess that kind of power.' Bobby said in a confused voice.

'A demon, no. Lilith is something else.' Sam sighed. He knew that one day the confrontation with Lilith would arrive, he just didn't like the thought of that. He had no idea if he could ever fight against her, if they were matches. To be honest, he was terrified with the idea alone.

'Why would Lilith want a demon to go back in time?' Bobby asked.

'To prevent Dean's birth.'

'Now that doesn't make sense.' Bobby said.

'It's complicated. Without Dean...I wouldn't be who I am now. Lilith wants me or dead, or evil.'

'Evil is such an ugly word.' Bobby said slowly.

Sam couldn't help but smile. 'I know what you mean. Anyway, could you come out and help us?'

'Sure, off course! I know where you are, I'll be there in a couple of hours.'

'We only have six.' Sam said a little depressed.

'If I'll step on it, I can make it in 3.'

'Thanks Bobby.'

Sam closed the phone and returned his attention to Dean again who curiously eyed him.

'And?' Dean asked when Sam didn't make any intention of telling him some news.

'He'll be here in 3 hours.' Sam sighed.

'Damn.' Dean muttered.

'I know.' Sam said, 'That doesn't give us much time left.'

'We could ask, you know.' Sam said after a short silence.

'No way!' Dean sneered in a loud hard voice. He shifted his balance in his seat and clenched his hands around his wheel of his Impala.

'Dean...'

'No, Sammy, I'm not going to ask a freekin' demon to help us.'

'Ruby is different.'

'She is a demon, she convinced you in using your powers.'

'She helped me control them.' Sam corrected him.

'Still, she's bad influence.'

'Dean, you're acting like you are dad who is forbidding me to stop seeing a bad friend who got me into smoking.' Sam said while he rolled his eyes.

'Are you smoking?'

'No! Dean... you get my point. Ruby can help. You're dying, man, we need all the help we can get.'

Dean sighed, knowing that Sam was right. They needed all the help they could get. Six hours wasn't much time. And he wasn't ready to die anyway, not again. But still, he seemed desperate when he asked Ruby for help.

'I'll call her.' Sam said in a satisfied tone.

'Yeah, I'll bet she's around somewhere.' Dean muttered under his breath.

Sam ignored Dean's statement and dailed Ruby's number. He knew how upset this made Dean, after all, he did call her bitch, whore, slut, horse face, stuff like that. He hated Ruby. But Sam knew he was right, he knew every helping hand was useful.

'Ruby, it's Sam.' He said as he heard Dean snort. He decided to ignore him.

'What can I do for you?' she asked in a polite voice.

'We need help.'

'Trouble with a demon?' Ruby asked and Sam could hear she was smiling now.

'Something like that,' he answered irritated, 'A demon working under Lilith.'

He immediately sensed how Ruby tightened up, but he decided to ignore that too.

'Sam, Lilith and I...'

'It's important, we don't have much time.'

'What's wrong?'

'She wants to kill Dean in order to turn me evil.'

'You already lost Dean once, that didn't turn you.'

'I guess I didn't explain it right. She wants to kill Dean in the past, before he is even born. Without Dean, I would be different.'

'I see. How come you know this? If this is, _really is_, Lilith's plan, you can't be informed, the world would just change, none of us would ever know.'

'Castiel warned us.'

Sam could swear he heard Ruby shriek a little. He knew how terrified she is of him.

'If the angel is involved, why would you need my help?'

'Because they have other business to attend, please, Ruby, we need your help!'

Dean snorted again, louder this time.

'If it helps you,' Ruby sighed, 'than I'll come. Where are you?'

Sam thought about that question for a while and than said; 'I think you know.'

'You're right, I didn't want to seem like a stalker.'

'Oh, but you will become my stalker, you just don't know that yet. Steal something from me, let's say a shirt, than you would be truly my stalker.'

Sam laughed and Dean got even more irritated. He punched Sam on his arm and shot him a warning look. Sam got a grip on himself and tried not to laugh.

'I'll try not to steal anything.' Ruby laughed.

'Ruby,' he said serious again, 'thanks.'

'I'll see you soon.'

'Jesus!' Dean uttered as Sam shut the phone again.

'What?'

'You know what I mean!' Dean said in a hard voice, not sure how he wanted to act. He wanted to be mad, hell, he wanted to be furious. He had just witnessed Sam flirting with Ruby, that just grossed him out. But then again, he felt comfort somehow. He knew Sam would never be truly alone, even if he was accompanied by that demon. But as long as Dean could avoid that, he would.

'No, I don't.' Sam said, truly confused by Dean's words.

'Dude, you need to stop flirting with her.'

Sam laughed even louder now. 'I don't flirt.' He said then, trying to hide his face. He felt how warm he had gotten, how pink his face must look now. No way would Dean even get to see that!

'Sure,' Dean smiled, 'whatever. We are at the first mansion.'


	3. Chapter 3

**To the Mansions**

They were both relieved that they could distract their minds from the whole Ruby thing. Sam didn't want to think about it, he ignored every feeling he had when it came to Ruby.

Dean didn't want to imagine possible scenarios where Sam and Ruby end up together. He wasn't sure he would be able to live with that. He had always hoped for his brother to have, at least, a human girl on his side, like Jessica.

The mansion seemed abandoned, but that didn't really said that much. They could be hiding inside. Though hiding might not be the right word. More like waiting, they would love to kill the Winchesters.

They grabbed some flashlights, a couple of bottles holy water, and some guns. They didn't really had time to work out a plan, they just decided that storming in would be the best idea.

But as they had anticipated, the mansion was abandoned. The only thing they found were old mirrors, broken furniture and some bad smelling rooms.

They decided to head back to the car after a thoroughly search, but they decided there simply wasn't time to waste. Once back at the car, Ruby was waiting for them. Sam only felt relieve, they weren't alone anymore. Dean felt irritation. He hated that bitch, but for once, only this once, he would try to be nice.

'Hello, boys.' She greeted them.

'Ruby.'

'Slut.' Dean muttered, 'damn, I promised myself I would try to be nice.'

'I forgive you.' She smiled.

Dean smiled back at her, his face filled with sarcasm.

'Guess there is nothing here.' She continued.

'No, I suggest we split up. Dean and I check the mansion on Edgardstreet, you take the one on Palmstreet.' Sam said.

Ruby only nodded and prepared to take off.

'Contact us if you find anything.' Sam said.

Ruby turned around and smiled at Sam. 'I'm not going to go up against Lilith myself, that's up to you.'

'If Lilith is still even there.' Dean said.

'Doesn't matter, I'm not going to take that chance.'

'I knew that, you are too, I want to use a nice word, but only cowardly pops up for now.'

'I don't care what you think, Dean, hell, I don't even care if you're okay. The only reason I'm here, is because Sam asked. I, for one, care about the world.' She snapped back and then turned her back on them.

'See, Sammy, flirt, flirt, flirt!' Dean smirked as he walked towards his Impala. Sam rolled his eyes and quickly followed him.

Suddenly, this pain crossed Dean's chest, making him groan and gasp for air. For a moment, it felt like every nerve in his body was on fire and every muscle was about to explode. He had no control of his body and he fell hard on his knees. Sam was able to hold his torso right and keep his head up. Dean gasped for more air, but his lungs felt like it was being pierced with a thousand needles. He closed his eyes, tried to shut out the pain, but it was so overwhelming. Slowly, after seconds that had seemed like hours, the pain faded and Dean was able to take control again. He could breath and the air felt so fresh he felt greedy for more. The fire in his body was extinguished and he could open his eyes again, only to face a terrified Sam. He stared him straight in the eyes.

They both were terrified, they both had no idea what this meant.

'Help me up.' Dean said with a hoarse voice.

'Are you sure?' Sam asked.

'Yeah, come on, we can't waist any time, remember?'

Sam only nodded and helped his brother up who still clutched himself tightly onto Sam's arms. Sam helped Dean into the passenger seat and he crawled behind the wheel.

Sam couldn't help but stare at his brother. He had seen the pain stretched out on his brothers face and it scared him to hell. He had felt so powerless when his brother had laid in his arms, groaning in pain. He had felt anxious, hoping that they weren't too late. But he was still sitting next to him, he had to keep his eyes on him just to make sure Dean was still there.

Dean laid his head against the cool window, feeling the last of the fire inside him disappear. He felt his heart pound like it had never pounded before. He knew it was fighting to keep him alive, to keep his blood running. Dean didn't understand, they still had 4 hours left, how come he already felt pain like that?

He had seen the look on his brother's face, the concern, the mental pain. He knew Sam was going through hell just by seeing him in pain. He didn't want that. He didn't want Sam to see him like this anyway.

And as the pain slowly faded, his mind calmed down, his body relaxed and he fell asleep, rocked by the driving of the car. He didn't really wanted to sleep, he wanted to help Sam, hell, he wanted to help Ruby. But his body craved for rest, he couldn't win this fight.

He woke up by the deep murmurs around him. He was still in the car, his head still leaning against his window. He didn't take time to wake up, he just jumped out of the car to find Sam, Ruby and Bobby talking to each other.

'Dean, you're up!' Sam said, obviously relieved that he had woken up in the first place.

Dean looked at the faces of the others and he saw so many emotions. Fear, angst, concern, tiredness.

'How long?' Dean asked as he searched for his phone to read the hour.

'An hour.' Sam sighed.

'Why haven't you woken me up?' Dean yelled, upset that he hadn't been any help to them. His life was on stake and all he did was sleep. He hated himself for that.

Sam didn't really care about that. He only felt how their time was slipping away and how he could do nothing against it. 6 mansions were searched and secured. 3 more mansions had to be done. All tree at least 30 minutes away. They couldn't afford splitting up, when it came to a fight, they had to stand together. Even Ruby had agreed to fight after she had seen how desperate Sam had gone.

So they had to pick a mansion, they had to choose. God, it felt like they were choosing whether or not Dean was going to live or not. Sam didn't want to see this choice like that. He tried to think straight, look for obvious signs, but he knew Lilith covered her tracks.

'So, what now?' Ruby asked.

'We need to choose.' Sam said, trying to keep his voice steady.

'What if we chose wrong?' Bobby asked.

'We won't, just try to look for signs.' Sam said, hoping the others had seen something he had missed.

'Signs?' Ruby shrieked, 'Lilith doesn't leave signs, Sam, she doesn't have signposts saying "Come and visit me"'

'There must be something.' Dean said in a low voice, almost nothing more then a whisper. He realised how much his live was in danger, how much his time was running out. He had felt in once, this time, it didn't feel any different.

'The house on Elroystreet,' Bobby said suddenly, 'has been abandoned for nearly fifty years now, lots of kids break in, about two weeks ago, a kid disappeared after he said he was going to the mansion.'

'It is the only thing we have.' Ruby said.

'Let's go to Elroystreet then.' Dean said in a secure voice.


	4. Chapter 4

**4**** – Make the right choice!**

As said, the drive to the old mansion took more or less 30 minutes. They hurried as much as possible, but time was still going fast, faster then other days anyway.

But that wasn't their main problem. About 10 minutes after there departure, Dean started silently gasping for air again, and drank 5 bottles of water in less then 5 minutes. But he wasn't going to let Sam notice. There were enough troubles and if everyone started caring about Dean, forgetting the finale goal, things weren't going to end well. Another 5 minutes later, his hands started shaking, his mind was out of control and his world was spinning again. Not like the first time today, this time was different; gravity had a bigger affect now. He felt so heavy, like he was about to be crushed into the ground. The fire came slowly this time, starting in his fingers, followed by his arms, his chest, his neck, his belly, his legs and eventually his feet. No matter what he did, the pain never stopped, the fire wasn't extinguished as it was before.

On the contrary, somebody turned on the heat and now it felt like he was being burned to death from the inside out. He felt the heat radiate from his skin, like a high fever, but this was different, he knew Sam wouldn't feel his warmth, the heat was imagined, and yet, not.

Sam cornered another street and the old mansion became visible. It was in bad shape and looked like it could collapse any minute now. But it was different somehow, it seemed alive. There was movement inside, but that didn't comfort them. If it were Lilith, she would be discreet, make sure nobody would come and check things out.

They all got out of the car at the same time. Dean slower than the rest, trying to hide his pain, trying to look okay. They all just stared at the old house, grabbing there weapons more tightly against their chest. Ruby and Bobby came to stand next to Sam and Dean and they knew they were all thinking the same thing. _This isn't the place._

'Maybe they just don't expect visit.' Dean said, trying to break the tension in the air.

Another wave of fire crossed his body and he could barely hold his voice inside his chest. He wanted to scream, he wanted to yell, he wanted to let the pain out.

'This has to be the place.' Sam said in a high voice, gazing at the mansion.

'Sam…' Bobby murmured.

'No, it's got to be!'

'Dean?' a soft voice suddenly caught everybody's attention. Every gaze focused at Dean who was leaning against the car, trying to breathe. But it didn't matter how much air his lungs filled, he still was suffocating. The fire in his body had become unbearable and he felt his control over his body slipping away. He didn't even notice a cold hand grabbing the back of his neck.

'What's wrong with him?' Bobby asked.

Sam pushed his hand against Dean's cheek, he tried to force him to open his eyes, but Dean didn't react to any of it. He just stood there, his eyes shut, his hands on his knees, his breathing loud and irregular.

'Dean!' Sam yelled, trying to force Dean into responding, but nothing worked.

'I think our time is up.' Ruby stated in a sad voice, and Sam cursed her for saying those words.

Dean, in the meantime, felt trapped in his own body. He couldn't do anything anymore. Nothing responded to his commands. He tried to open his eyes, but it didn't work. He tried to call out for Sam, he tried to open his mouth and say how much pain he felt right now. No, it was more than pain, but he couldn't find the right word. No word could describe what he was feeling right now!

Another wave of pain, another torment. This was more than pain, this was almost agony. He knew what was happening, but there was nothing he could do about it. He was just trapped.

'Dean!' Sam shouted now. He saw how his big brother slowly slipped away from him, he saw his brother fading into emptiness. He clutched his hands tightly around Dean's arms and started shaking him, but Dean still didn't respond to any of it.

'We must be able to do something!' Bobby asked with concern. His voice even trembled a little.

And then Sam's hands were grabbing air. Everything shifted. He was panicking and couldn't control his body anymore. Shapes around him faded, smells disappeared. The steady ground seemed to tremble and Sam could hardly keep his balance. He tried to use all his strength to hold back the transformation, but he knew it was pointless.

And then Ruby disappeared, Bobby was next. Sam felt his memories slip away, he felt Dean slip away from his mind and he didn't want to forget his brother. He was frightened that this meant the end, that everything was lost.

The whole world was shifting.

And just when he thought everything was lost, when he was certain he wouldn't ever know about Dean, a hand clasped his arms with a crushing force. The unknown skin felt like acid on his own skin and if he had had control over his body, he would scream in pain.

But pain wasn't the only thing he felt. Somehow, he sensed this protection covering not only his body, but his mind as well. The memories of his life were safe inside him, the memories about his dad, about Dean, Bobby, Ruby, of everyone else he knew.

And then the world stopped shaking, shaped became visible again. The toxic hand pulled away, but the acid on his skin still burned a little. Only then Sam was able to see again, only then he was able to use his eyes, and he immediately felt 2 eyes glued on his body. He turned around and tumbled backwards when he saw how close Castiel stood in front of him.

There was so many anger in Castiel's eyes, so many fury, and Sam wasn't sure he felt safe around him. He hadn't felt the wrath of an angel before and he sure as hell never wanted to experience it. He took some deep breathes and tried to calm himself down.

Castiel, on the other hand, breathed shallow and irregular.

'I warned you!' he hissed under his breath.

Sam didn't know what to say, he wasn't going to argue with him, but still, he didn't like the tone in which Castiel spoke. It seemed as if they hadn't tried, because they had! They had searched and even had called in help. How dare Castiel assume Sam hadn't gone to the extreme of his limits?

'We tried…'

'Now the whole world has changed!' Castiel spoke in a deep threatening voice.

'I didn't.' Sam said confused.

'I was able to hold you back, you don't belong in this world, you are supposed to be different.'

'I'm supposed to be evil, you mean.' Sam corrected Castiel.

Castiel started walking towards the road, away from the house, leaving a stunned Sam behind.

Sam watched as the angel moved away from him and then quickly chased after him. It was only then he noticed the Impala had disappeared as well. Dean would have hated it.

'Yes.' Castiel said once Sam was right behind him again.

'But obviously, I'm not!'

'As I said, You don't belong in this world. I was able to hold your memories stored inside your mind. You are still the Sam from the old world.'

'So you let me stay here for what? Torture? So that I am forced into a life without Dean knowing who he was, why he died?'

'Not a lot of people get a second chance, Sam, you are one of the exceptions.' Castiel simply replied. He seemed calmed down, but Sam wasn't going to take any risks. He kept his distance.

'A second chance? How?'

'You are going back in time.'


	5. Chapter 5

**The story of my life**

'You are going back in time.' Castiel said.

Sam came to a halt and stared at the back of Castiel as he kept on his pace.

'You said that it was impossible.'

'I never said that. If you had gone back, your lives would have been messed up. Now your life _is _messed up. But Sam,' Castiel said as he turned to face Sam, 'avoid contact with your family, just kill the demon. Once your task is completed, you will return. When you fail, when Dean dies once more when you are there…'

'I return and turn evil?' Sam guessed.

'Exactly.'

Sam knew that possibility had been there the whole way, but hearing it out loud, it freaked him out. He knew how much Dean had fought for the safety of Sam, to keep him good, he wasn't planning to let it all be for nothing.

'So, what now? You send me back?' Sam asked, not sure what the next plans were.

'Yes, but first, we have some more business to attend to.'

Castiel came to a stop and waited for Sam to come and stand next to him.

'Hold on.' Castiel then warned Sam.

Before Sam even realised what Castiel had said, the world started shaking again. But this time was different. This time, Sam's body didn't hurt and he knew he was the only one feeling the tremors. For a short moment, not longer then a couple of seconds, the whole surrounding around Sam went blank. It was as if Sam stood in the nothingness.

But Castiel was right by his side, though, his hand gently on Sam's shoulder and this time his touch didn't hurt. Sam only felt Castiel's hand faintly radiating heat, like the warmth of the sun. It was almost pleasant.

And then a new surrounding formed itself around Sam. It was confusing and disorientating, Sam hardly knew his right or left. It took him a couple of seconds to adjust to the new light as well.

Castiel had already started walking down the street and Sam didn't know what else to do then to follow him. And then Castiel halted, focusing his gaze on an old, damaged house. The grass hadn't been mowed in years, obviously, and weed was overgrowing all other life. The windows had been nailed up with heavy wooden beams. A big old tree that was growing in front of the house was bended down under it's on weight and simply looked unhealthily, dying.

Only when he saw the tree, Sam realised this was his old home, the home where his mother had died in his nursery. He swallowed heavily, forcing himself to take deep breathes.

'Why are we here?' he asked with a trembling voice.

Castiel eyed the house more closely and then turned to face Sam who by now looked pretty pale and anxiously watched him.

'You must retrieve the Colt.' Castiel answered.

'From who?' Sam asked, not really sure he wanted to hear the answer out loud.

'From your father.' Castiel stated as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

It was sort of the answer Sam had expected, but as he had predicted, it made him panic. He only hoped his father was in better shape than his house.

John had been dead for a while now and Sam had learned to live without his presence, his guidance, his love. But now here he stood and dad was within his range. It felt like he only had to stretch out his hand to be able to touch him once more. The only thing standing in his way was a house, and probably Castiel as well.

And Castiel seemed to know exactly what was going on inside Sam's head. He shook his head firmly and made his point by just staring into Sam's eyes with a warning look.

'You must not make contact with your father,' he said, 'trust me on that one. He may be your father, he is not your dad. Inside that house lives an old, bitter man who has lived through this world. Who knows how he will react when he sees you.'

'Right,' Sam muttered, cursing himself inside, 'because I'm evil.'

'Yes.' Castiel simply stated.

Sam turned his back to the house and stared straight into Castiel's big blue eyes. He had enough of this, he hated living in the unknown. He needed some answers and he was sure Castiel could provide them.

What had changed? Did his mother die in this world? Was she in that house as well? Where was Bobby? Was he a hunter? Was he alright? What about himself, Sam went on in his head, how evil was he? How powerful was he supposed to be? How powerful was Lilith? And what about Ruby, was she still in hell?

Sam bursted with questions and he wanted some answers. He knew everything was going to change back again, it had to, but still… How crazy it might sound, knowing how miserable every person in his live is in this world, it gave him the strength to go on, to have the guts to change everything back. It made him realise that his life, that Dean's life had made a difference to others, that they did matter.

'What is going on in this world?' Sam asked in an almost pleading voice.

Castiel sighed, stared at the house for a little while longer and then seemed to decide that there was still time for this conversation.

'Lilith played a very smart game.' Castiel began his story. 'She sent a demon back in your name, as if you gave the order. Not everything went as planned, though. Unfortunately, her math was a little of and Dean was already born when the demon arrived here. Dean couldn't have been much older then a couple of weeks, just a baby. The demon kidnapped him in broad daylight, your parents didn't anticipate a move like that, and then murdered him. It was cruel, horrifying.

That's when Mary confessed her past to John, telling him all about the supernatural. They hunted together for a while, becoming bitter over time. As I told before, they knew what there second son would supposedly become, the murderer of his own brother. They did everything to prevent another pregnancy, but 4 years after the birth of Dean, Mary became pregnant again. Luckily for you, she was religious and an opponent of abortion. They decided to raise you overprotective. They hoped if you saw how evil others can be, you would get an aversion to everything that was supernatural.

One thing still stayed the same, though, when you were exactly 6 months old, Azazel brought you a little visit. Nobody noticed, your mother never heard you cry, she never walked in your nursery that night. Your powers got the chance to evolve thoroughly without anyone noticing, not even you.

When you were about 6 years old, your mother died while hunting a demon, leaving you alone with John. That's when things turned bad. John couldn't stand you, knowing you had killed your own brother, his firstborn. And you look so alike your mother, he couldn't look at you without seeing Mary. He started hunting on his own, leaving you with friends, other hunters, like Bobby, or in motel rooms.

Around your 17the birthday, you got sick of your life and anger is a good motivator for your powers to surface. You felt rejected by your family and you saw the fear in other people's eyes, you just didn't know why. You saw your powers as a gift and started using them whenever you wanted. But without guidance, without support, without the love of your brother and father, you didn't stand a chance to stay good.

When you turned 18, you turned your back at John and the rest of your friends. Slowly, you became less and less human, giving in to you powers, letting them take control over your will. But you never once believed it to be a bad thing. You became powerful, feared by everyone, and you became nearly invincible. You quickly became a leader to other demons.

Off course hunters tried to kill you, like Bobby. You killed them in stead. Knowing they could possibly be a thread to you one day, you started sending out demons over the whole world to destroy them. Now there are approximately 50 hunters left over the entire world and that doesn't include Jo or Ellen. If you were wondering about them to…

Now you are one of the most powerful beings on earth, leading armies of demons, just as Azazel wanted you to do. The only problem is that you did kill him the first chance you got. You hate sharing your power. You also eliminated Lilith and you killed Ruby a couple of days later. And now you believe that the time has come to announce yourself to the world, sending hell lose on earth.

I wanted to spare you this little story, Sam, as you can hear, it is not pretty. You are not a sweetheart everybody loves. On the contrary, you are the most hated person in the hunters world, having murdered so many people; friends, husbands and wives, sons.

The world is about to be destroyed and you need to stop it before everything is lost. Save Dean, save the world.'


	6. Chapter 6

**Inside the House**

Sam felt like he was going to pass out any minute now. Castiel started gazing at the house again, probably just giving Sam a minute to think over about what he just told him.

But Sam wasn't able to think right know. His mind was frozen, as was his body. Short shallow breathings were the only thing he was capable of. His legs started shaking, almost bending under his bodyweight and Sam strongly hoped he would stay standing up. Fainting in front of an angel, in front of Castiel would more or less be embarrassing.

Only when the fog around his mind lifted, he heard a deep voice call out his name. At first, it had seemed so loud, but then Sam realised it had just been Castiel demanding for his attention.

'Sam, you need to focus.' He said.

Sam coughed loudly, trying to coffer up his panic, but Castiel's eyes immediately revealed that he had seen Sam in a moment of distress.

'The Sam Winchester I told you about is not you, not yet, anyway. You gave a chance to change your destiny, welcome it with your arms wide open.'

'Yeah, you're right. Off course you are.' Sam muttered, clearing his voice then, 'it's just… a lot to take in.'

Castiel nodded understanding and then faced the house again.

'You must go now. It will be hidden in a safe upstairs. Try to find the right combination without taking too much time. Remember, your father is in that house. Avoid any contact! I will meet you soon enough.'

'Wait!' Sam shouted.

Castiel, who had already turned his back on Sam, came to a sudden stop, only turning his head a little.

'What are you going to do?'

'I have other business to attend to. I have a lot of math in front of me, everything must go exactly as planned.' Castiel answered and then just vanished into thin air.

Sam took another couple of minutes to calm down. He didn't want to rush into things. He visualised the inside of the house in his mind and decided that the back door would be the best entrance to sneak in. If his dad was in there, he would probably be in the living room, watching television or reading books about the supernatural.

And through a small window above the sink, Sam would be able to see if the kitchen was empty. If it wasn't, if John was there, he would go around and force the lock on the front door. It wasn't that much of a plan, but it was a start.

Sam took in a deep breath and then started walking around the tree, over the weed and grass and eventually on a small path that leaded towards the back door. He tried to be as quiet as possible, placing foot by foot on the floor, carefully watching if there was anything that could reveal his presence. He kneeled under the small window and carefully raised his head to see wether or not his father was there. The kitchen was empty.

He stood up and walked towards the door and opened it, cursing the high shrieking noise it made when he pushed against it. He held his breath for a second, but there was no reaction in the house. He stepped inside, and without paying much attention to his surroundings, Sam walked towards the hallway which leaded to the staircase.

Sam didn't really want to look around in the house. First off all, it was unbelievably dirty. There was dust everywhere and frames of photos were broken. Sam still had a clear picture of this house in his mind when it was in a good shape, like when it was a couple of years ago when they had saved that woman and her kids who lived here. He didn't want to spoil that image.

The wood of the staircase showed cracks and Sam didn't feel very comfortable when ascending it. Once upstairs, he had to orient himself in the house. Their was a long hall that granted him access to all the rooms on the first floor. When turned to the left, as good as Sam could rememberanyway, you could see Dean's room and his nursery. To the right, there was the room of his parents and the bathroom. Sam could only hope this house hadn't changed like all the rest.

But then an overwhelming desire rushed through his body. He wanted to see more then just the inside of a safe, he wanted to see the house, he needed to see the house.

A low cough erupted from downstairs, followed by the scraping of a chair and then the sound of a loud violent movie reached Sam ears. Sam felt his heart pound and he needed to keep himself steady. But he knew what he wanted, this desire was just too big and in stead of turning right, the most obvious location of the safe, he turned left.

He decided to take the door the furthest away from him first. This was Dean's room, or it had been his. The door slid open without any hesitation or sound and the bright light took Sam by surprise. His eyes closed instinctively, trying to protect themselves. Sam then opened them again, slowly and carefully.

What he saw was something he had never expected to see in this house. This seemed like an utopia compared to the rest.

Bright colours, lots of sunlight, everything cleaned up, pictures,… Sam couldn't move himself, he was too stunned. Hesitant, he entered the room. His fingers slid over the many frames of photos. This was clearly Dean's room as his name was cheerfully painted above a little bed that was filled with teddy bears.

But the pictures were the most important thing to Sam. They showed a life of happiness. He saw his mother smile as she looked down on a little boy sleeping in her arms. He saw John proudly showing of his son to what appeared to be a friend. And there were a lot of pictures of just Dean. One in his crib while he eagerly stretched his arms out to however was taking the picture at that time. One where he was sleeping peacefully. One where he was drinking his bottle of milk; given to him by Mary. Sam had never seen his big brother so small; every picture had been burned away with the house when he had been 6 months old.

Sam sighed and realised he couldn't possibly know what his parents had gone through when they had lost Dean. Losing a child is a parent's worst nightmare. Sam could not begin to grasp the emotion his parents felt when Dean got murdered by his own brother. He didn't even want to know what went through their minds. He couldn't stand his thoughts anymore and nearly ran outside the nursery. He closed the door behind him and leaned against it, breathing slow and controlled.

The next door had to be an entrance to Sam's own nursery. Or maybe it was a normal boy's room in this world? Sam pushed his hands against it and walked in another bright room. It wasn't a nursery. A bed stood under the wide window, made up with sheets as if someone was going to sleep in it this evening. An old back bag lay casually against a desk that was covered with paper sheets, old books and pencils. Sam picked one of the books up and realised to his horror they were about dark magic and demons. The sheets contained information about rituals and Sam recognised his own handwriting from when he was a child, not much older then 14. But the most terrifying thing for Sam was that the text wasn't to exorcise the demons. The text was written as if he had worshiped them, as if he wanted to know about them.

There were no pictures of him in his room, there were of his mother. And when Sam looked under another book, he found a picture of wide-smiling Mary and a giggling Dean where Dean couldn't have been older then 4 months. And then he got the idea. He folded the photo carefully and placed on the inside of his jacket. When he saw another picture of him and his father, he cursed himself for being such an evil person in this world. But he took that picture as well and putted it next to the picture of Dean and their mother.

He decided it was time for business and headed down to the room of his parents. It wasn't a nice room like Dean's nursery and even his own room seemed nicer then this one. There was a big bed, untidy and it even smelled horrible. Next to the bed, there were piles and piles of books about demons and exorcisms.

On the other side of the bed, facing the window, was a walk-in-closet. Sam didn't even hesitated and opened it. He pushed away the clothes and moved around some hamper boxes until he found a small steel box. The safe.

The only thing Sam needed to figure out now was the combination to open it. He sighed and focused his mind. Birthdays were the most logical combination; it was a well known fact.

He turned the wheel and formed 8 numbers. 05 – 10 – 1954.

The lock didn't open. Sam sighed and he was disappointed that John hadn't used Mary's birthday.

It would be a little egocentric to use your own birthday, so Sam didn't even try using John's birthday. It' not something he would do.

Sam just tried to think logical. John had loved his firstborn. Dean was the best son in his eyes, even now Sam believed that John had always loved Dean more than him. It looked as if some thing would never change.

24 – 01 – 1979. Dean's birthday. The lock clicked open and Sam couldn't help but smile. At least some things around here work, go as planned.

He opened the safe and grabbed the Colt. He had never been so pleased to feel the cold steel of the gun in his hand. He threw the safe back in the closet and pushed himself up from the ground.

When he turned around, he gasped for air. He had been wrong before, nothing in this world ever goes as planned. His father stared at him in horror, his eyes filled with hate and fear. Sam hated himself for making his father feel this way, even though he wasn't the Sam John knew.

John pointed a gun at Sam, grimacing in pain, a tear rolling over his cheek.

'Dad.' Sam panted as he tried not to make any unexpected movements. Getting hit by a bullet wasn't the best plan to go with. Besides, Castiel would probably shout the hell out of him if he screwed this up.

John grabbed the gun even more closely into his hand, preparing himself to murder his own son.


	7. Chapter 7

**7 – ****John**

'Dad, please, listen to me!' Sam begged his father, holding his hands up trying to make John see he wasn't planning on hurting him.

'How dare you come back.' John hissed. His gaze fell down and eventually stayed locked on the Colt. 'Off course you would one day come back for that.'

'Dad,' Sam pleaded again, 'this isn't what you think this is. I'm not your son! I mean, I am your son, just… not the son you know.'

'Have you gone crazy?' John asked confused.

'No, dad, please, just hear me out.'

John eyed Sam for a moment and then decided that this must be a game. He pointed his gun back at Sam and fired.

Sam fell down and felt the sharp agonising pain in his shoulder. He grabbed his shoulder and cried out in pain. He felt the warm blood on his hands and he tried to push against the wound, but it hurt too much.

John, in the meantime, came to stand next to him, still leaving some room between them. He looked even more confused and he lowered his gun, watching his son shudder in pain.

'You didn't stop me.' John uttered.

'How could I have stopped you? You shot me!' Sam yelled, still in pain, obviously. He pushed himself up against the bed and took in deep breathings.

'I don't understand.' John sighed, still eyening his son with disbelieve.

'As I tried to tell you, I'm not the Sam you think I am. I'm different.'

'But you are my son?' John asked.

'Yes!' Sam said as he felt the pain fading, but still very much burning.

'You're not evil?'

'No. I'm here to change everything. Dad, you need to believe me. First of all, I didn't give the order to kill Dean. I would never want to murder my own brother! Second, I'm not evil. I'll try to explain this as simple as possible. I'm from another… reality, one where Dean is still alive and kicking badass demons. But our enemy, she send a demon back to kill Dean in my name. It's not true, I never gave that order! I lived a happy live, dad, one where I'm not evil!'

Sam hoped his dad would understand at least a little bit. He wasn't sure if he had accomplished that goal, though, John still looked as if he was trying to figure out the square root of an impossibly big number.

'You're playing a game with me.' John finally concluded, rising his gun up again and pointing it at Sam once more. 'You've always loved playing games, this is just one of them.'

'Dad, no, please, you need to believe me!'

'Stop it, Sam, you can drop the act. Stop acting as if you're in pain. Why don't you just kill me! Then we'll be both happy.'

Sam became more desperate as time past. He was never going to get through to his father and it made him feel miserable. This was a one in a lifetime opportunity and this is how it was spent. He finally got the chance to speak to his dad again and John just tried to kill him. He now knew what Castiel had meant, why he had tried to keep Sam away from John. He had tried to protect him.

'I would never kill you.' Sam said shocked, 'I love you and I have the greatest respect for you.'

John started pacing up and down the room, rubbing his hands through his hair.

'Damn it, Sam!' John yelled.

'Dad, where I come from, it's a world that I don't prefer, to be honest, but it is one with Dean. You have to believe me, please, don't you want to save your son?'

That made John come to a stop and he stared at Sam with disbelieve.

'I want to save Dean, I really do, but there is no way that something like that is possible.'

'Dean is blond, 6,4 feet tall, green eyes. He loves the car you gave to him, a '67 impala. He loves his family more then anything else in the world and he would give his life for me. No wait, he already did that. It is something that runs in the family, you see, when Dean was about to die after a car accident, you sold your soul for him. You died saving Dean, dad. When I died a year later, Dean sold his soul for me. He was in hell for four months only to be pulled out by an angel. Dean is alive and well until Lilith, that demon, came up with her perfect plan. Dad, I'm not the Sam you know. Dean would do anything to safe me, now give me the chance to do the same thing for him. Please, dad. You could help me, you could help me safe Dean!'

John just stared at Sam, his mouth a little open, his gaze nearly piercing Sam. He swallowed hard and then rushed to his son, pushing his hands against the bleeding bullet wound.

'Thanks.' Sam gasped as he was trying to forget the pain running through his shoulder and ending in his fingertips. He bit his lip and then pushed himself up only to fall back down on the bed.

'Easy, you got shot, remember?' John said as he ripped Sam's shirt open. 'Stay here, I'll go get some water and towels to clean your wound.'

And then Sam was alone. He had never felt better though. For the first time today, he had a standing chance to change things. He could safe Dean and he would get John's help. He laid his head back on a bad smelling pillow and closed his eyes, feeling his body relax. Pressure on his shoulder made him groan, but he kept his eyes shut. The pain only increased as John tried to pull the bullet out, and after he was stitched up, he felt his skin burn. John handed him a bottle of gin which Sam, stubborn as he is, refused.

'It would make you feel better.' John said. He sat next to Sam on the bed while throwing the dirty towels in a basket next to the bed.

'I need to have a clear mind for when I go after the demon that kills Dean.'

'Right… You're absolutely right.'

'Thanks for helping me.' Sam said once again. 'Even now when you know what will happen…'

'You mean that helping you will end my life?'

Sam sighed and searched for the right words. 'It must take a lot of courage to do this. I-'

'I'm your father, Sam, I'm Dean's father. If my death means that my boys are safe and at least alive, I would give my soul without even hesitating.'

'Yeah, I know you would. Still, living without you, it was rough.'

'You have Dean.' John smiled. That idea made him definitely happy. 'And you will be there right beside him, fighting evil. It's a dream coming true.'

John reached his hand out the Sam and gently brushed though his hair.

He smiled and said: 'I'm very proud of you, Sam, your risking your life for your brother.'

'I see you have the Colt.' a soft, yet rough voice interrupted them.

John and Sam both looked up and faced Castiel. John reached for his gun and pointed it at the angel, but Sam as able to push his father's arm down and avoid another shooting.

'That's the angel I was talking about, dad, the one that saved Dean from hell. The one that is going to help me save him again.'

'Oh, sorry.' John muttered, a little embarrassed.

Castile walked towards the bed and laid his hands on the bed frame, sighing as he saw Sam's wound. He shook his head and then came to stand next to Sam and John.

'It is time for us to go.' He said.

John helped his son get up and then, taking Sam of gard, hugged him as hard as possible. Sam felt his shoulder protest and he wanted to scream in pain again, but that would mean John pulling away from him. He didn't want that to happen, so he swallowed the pain away and hugged his father back.

'Take care of yourself and of your big brother.' John whispered before he let his son go.

'Off course' Sam smiled. 'Thanks for your help, dad.'

John only smiled back at Sam and patted him on his good shoulder.

'We must go now, Sam.' Castiel said. He laid his hand on Sam's back and focused on the past.


	8. Chapter 8

**8**** – A family moment**

Sam was waiting for the heat to radiate from Castiel's skin, but before he had even blinked his eyes, Castiel pulled away. Sam thoroughly searched his surroundings, only to conclude he was back in front of the house again. He regretted not having his dad around anymore, but he knew that this was more important. He had to safe the world. He had to safe Dean.

The house was in much better state then it was the last time Sam saw it. The grass was mowed and flowers grew at the sides of the house. The tree was still growing towards the sky and the small path that leaded to the backdoor glittered under the brilliant sun. The house itself was painted in soft blue and it seemed alive, not dying like before.

'So,' Sam started, 'what now?'

'Dean will be kidnapped later today when Mary and John are taking him to the park. The demon will appear around 4 in the afternoon and take your brother. Around 5 in the afternoon, Dean will die.'

Sam swallowed heavily and nodded.

'So, all we need to do is wait for the demon to appear and kill him?'

'Without making contact with your parents. If Mary even suspects anything, your world may shift again. I won't be able to stop it.'

'Right,' Sam sighed, 'everything has to go as it was meant to be.'

'Exactly.' Castiel said.

'What time is it now?'

'2 pm.'

'So we still have one hour left?'

'Yes.'

'So…What do we do until then?' Sam asked.

'We wait.'

Sam couldn't hold in a chuckle and Castiel turned around to watch Sam. He looked confused and turned his head a little to the left.

'I'm sorry,' Sam laughed, 'but standing here for an hour, that's going to raise suspicion in the neighbourhood. We'll look like psycho stalkers.'

'Perhaps you are right.' Castiel said a little irritated with Sam's remark, he has always wanted to understand the humans more, better, he should have thought about that one too, 'I will go to the park and try if I can sense the demon there. You must stay here and keep an eye on your family.'

'Okay, good idea.' Sam smiled.

And then Castiel was gone again and Sam could only shake his head as he tried not to smile. He felt good about this, he honestly believed he had a chance in winning this fight. He knew when the demon would attack and he had the Colt.

There was one problem, though. He hated staying away from his family. He wanted to see his mother now he got the chance. He wanted to see John when he was happy. He wanted to see Dean as a baby so he could later poke fun at him. Dean always said that he had been chubby as a baby, now he got the chance to see baby Dean and he might be able to make a snappy comeback once Dean made another joke about it. Life would be so much easier.

But Sam knew he couldn't just walk in the house and say 'hi'. What was he supposed to say next? _I'm you future son by the way!_ That wouldn't end very well.

Sam sighed and walked across the street putting some distance between him and the house. He hoped his desire to go and meet his parents and Dean would diminish as he walked away from the front door, but he was so wrong. The more he got away from his home, the more he wanted to turn around and knock on that door to see the faces of his mother and father.

But he just couldn't do that. The future was messed up as it was and Sam didn't want to temp faith. He couldn't afford a slip up. Things had to return to normal, no matter what. So Sam had to suck it up and control his desires.

Not far from his house, there was an old bench that provided a perfect view without raising any suspicion. He appeared to be a normal guy enjoying the good weather. His clothes were a little out of time, but it seemed as if not many people walked by to even notice.

For the whole hour that he sat there, trying not to stare too much at the house, perhaps 5 people passed and they had all been to busy minding their own business and they hadn't even noticed Sam.

And then the front door opened and a man with black hair and clean face walked outside. A beautiful blonde woman with an divine smile quickly followed him, holding a blanket in her arms that moved on its own. She was holding her baby boy. Dean.

Sam could only see vague facial expressions and he hated not seeing details. He knew Mary had these adorable pocks in her cheeks when she smiled, something Sam had inherited from her. But he was too far away to see them now.

He stood up and carefully walked after them. John had wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pressed his wife against his chest. Mary buried her face in his arm and held Dean up close to her face.

Sam came closer and closer to his parents as they walked away from the house and by the time they entered the park, Sam could hear what they were talking about.

'Aw, look John, he's smiling!' Mary sighed with delight in her voice.

John pushed away the blanket covering Dean to get a good view at his son.

'Aw, doesn't he look adorable?'

'Well, of course,' Mary smiled, 'he has your smile.'

John held Mary even tighter against his chest and pressed his lips against her long beautiful curls.

'If he has my looks and your brain, he'll be one hell of a kid!' John said proudly.

'He will be a fantastic kid, John,' Mary corrected her husband as she gently caressed Dean tiny little hands.

John and Mary walked further down in the park and Sam kept following them. He left enough space to not attract attention, but he wanted to be close. He wanted to hear what his parents had to say and hearing their voices, it was too pleasant to resist.

'I'll bet he'll become some fancy doctor.' Mary sighed.

'Or a lawyer,' John said. 'He can study anything he wants! I know he'll be that smart! Stanford would gain one hell of a student!'

'All of our kids will get into Stanford!'

John looked surprised at Mary and hardly realised how big his eyes were staring at her.

'_Kids_?'

'Yeah,' Mary giggled as she saw John expression, a little pale, but still open to the idea, 'I want a big family.'

'What do you have in mind?' John asked in a curious voice.

'2 boys,' Mary said as she looked down at Dean again, 'and 2 twin girls.'

'4 kids, huh?' John said as he frowned, thinking about the whole idea.

'It would be wonderful!' Mary went on, 'A big family. Nobody would ever feel alone.'

Mary looked John hopefully in the eyes and John eventually smiled.

'I like that thought. But… twins? Two babies together could be much to handle.'

'If they look even the slightest like Dean, they won't be any problem. Come on,' Mary said in a low pleading voice now, 'when was the last time our little boy here cried?'

John thought about that for a moment and then said; 'I don't remember.'

'He even sleeps through the night and he's not even 5 months old.'

'Alright,' John smiled then, 'twin girls.'

'And Dean will be a wonderful big brother!'

John and Mary slowed down and Sam had to keep his pace down to prevent himself from walking almost next to his parents. John opened his jacket and took a yellow blanket from under it. He laid it on the dry grass under a tree and Mary gently laid Dean on it. Dean immediately started waving his little arms in delight and tried to grab the end of the blanket between his little fingers. He kicked his legs and shrieked in pleasure as a bird flew over them.

'Aw, he's getting so tall.' John sighed as he watched his son twist in pleasure, grabbing everything within range.

'He'll always be my baby, no matter how tall or old he is.'

John's eyes seemed to melt as he watched Mary gaze at their son. He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her full soft lips. Mary laid her hands on his cheeks and gently brushed them as she kissed him back and then fell into his lap. John laid his arms around her shoulders and planted his chin into her hair.

'When does your shift at the garage start?' Mary asked in a silent voice, obviously resented by the thought of John leaving.

'Now, actually.' John sighed.

'But it's Dean's first day in the park!' Mary said as she pulled John's arms against her chest, trying to prevent him from going.

'I know, love,' John said in a sad voice, 'but if you want 4 kids, we'll need money to pay for Stanford.'

'You're right. I'll tell you everything about his day when you come home.'

'I know you will!' John laughed and then he kissed his wife goodbye.

Mary released John's arms and watched how he kneeled beside Dean to kiss him on the forehead.

'See you tonight, buddy.'

'I love you.' Mary said as John waved her goodbye.

'I love you too.' John smiled and then walked away from his family.

Sam, hiding not far away from Mary on a bench, watched his father leave the park and disappear from view. Now it was just Mary and Dean, and Sam got a good look at Dean who now seemed too small to be his big brother.

'The demon is watching.' Castiel's voice suddenly sounded.

Sam turned his head to see were it came from, realising too late that Castiel stood right behind him, his hands on the frame of the bench.

'You should really stop doing that.' Sam said in a hard voice as he felt his heart make an unnecessary jump.

'It will happen soon,' Castiel said, ignoring Sam, 'We need to find him.'

'Well, you come to a park with your kids to play. Or you come with your boyfriend to enjoy the sun. Our demon doesn't have any of that, he'll be alone. A man alone must be noticeable.'

Castiel didn't respond.

'He is alone right?'

'Yes, one demon.' Castiel assured Sam, 'he'll be alone.'

'Good,' Sam said relieved, 'then let's start looking!'


	9. Chapter 9

_Sorry this chapter took me so long to publish! But the exams have arrived and it's time to study so it will probably take me 2 or 3 days to publish a chapter :( I hope you can forgive me =)_

_So, sit back and enjoy_

_... And don't forget to review!!!  
_

**9 - Mary**

If it wasn't for Castiel, Sam could have never focused on the job he was supposed to do. His gaze kept sliding over to Mary and Dean who were enjoying themselves, playing and laughing. Well, Mary was laughing, Dean could barely giggle. But that didn't matter, Sam loved listening to his mother laugh, it was one of the most beautiful sounds in the world.

But Castiel kept his mind focused, at least as well as he could.

They muttered 'Christo' to every suspicious-looking guy or woman, but after a search of nearly 40 minutes, nobody's eyes had turned black. They hadn't found the demon and their time was running out. It was almost 4 pm and Sam felt his blood race through his veins. He started panicking and wished they had more time.

Even Castiel showed signs of irritation. At first he just mumbled the word of his boss in latin. Later, he started saying it out loud and by the end of their nearly-one-hour-search, he said it in a rough cold voice. People started looking and Castiel even turned a little red in the face as he started loosing his patience.

But Sam could only empathize with the angel. He as well felt the irritation and he wanted to scream the word so that everyone within the park would hear it. Sam even considered doing so, put he regained his rational thoughts and quickly shook that terrible idea of his mind. People would really start thinking they were crazy persons. They couldn't afford police on their tales.

'What now?' Sam asked with a desperate voice.

Castiel turned around to face him.

'I sense him, he is close. But he is watching his steps.'

'We could do another sweep of the park. Perhaps we'll find him now.'

'There is no more time.' Castiel sighed.

Sam felt his muscles tense and his knuckles slowly turned white. He saw Castiel's body tighten and his shoulders became stiff and looked like stone walls.

Sam let his gaze wonder of to Mary and Dean who had been alone up till now. A child, not much older then 8, stood with them. She was wearing a lovely flower dress and her long black curls were so intense under the heat of the sun that it hurt Sam's eyes. The girl was crying and seemed to be telling her whole story to Mary. Her hand reached out and pointed at some trees in the distance and Mary followed her hand, eventually gazing at the same trees the girl was pointing at.

And mary stood up, brushed through the girls hair and walked away from them. She turned around to watch the girl and Dean every 5 seconds and started running to the trees. The girl watched Mary disappear and she then kneeled besides Dean, taking him in her hands and smiling with her eyes burning with satisfaction.

Sam didn't even wait for Castiel to ask wether he saw the same thing as him. His body reacted before his mind grasped the whole situation. Sam just ran towards Dean and prayed he would not be too late. The girl rocked Dean, pressing him dense against her chest and started walking away from the blanket under the tree. Dean was still giggling and stretching his arms and legs, not knowing what was going on.

In no more then 5 seconds, Sam had reached the girl and he roughly pulled his brother out of her arms. Dean started protesting loudly and Sam tried to calm him down by rocking him gently. It worked. Dean immediately fell silent again.

It felt surreal and Sam tried not to think about the fact that he was holding his big brother. Dean was so small, so tiny, so fragile.

Sam never looked at Dean with these thoughts. Never had he considers him vulnerable, almost weak. Dean had always been…Dean. Just Dean. Strong. Confident. Protective. Seeing baby Dean forced him to realise that he was still human, he still needed help; when he was this baby and when he is 29.

But this all made Sam feel good. He was protecting his brother and he knew Dean was safe. Sam now knew he did have a job as the youngest sibling, the same one as that of a big brother; protecting each other.

'Christo.' Sam said.

The girl's eyes turned black and it cursed with the innocent face of the girl. And then she smiled, streaking her heavy curls out of her eyes. It all looked childish and it made Sam boil with rage on the inside. He wanted to help the little girl who was trapped inside her own body, but he couldn't perform an exorcism with more then 15 witnesses staring at them. A little girl coughing up black smoke would attract attention.

'I'll get to him.' The girl said in a high cheery voice, 'It's just a matter of time.'

Sam held Dean even more close to his chest and he hoped he would be able to keep him safe long enough.

The girl turned around and walked away, just like that. Nobody stopped her. Castiel, who had been watching from a distance, now came to stand next to Sam, breathing deep and slow.

They simple _couldn't_ stop her. They couldn't exorcise her and they couldn't shoot her with the Colt.

'Lay Dean on his blanket before Mary returns. I'll follow the demon.' Castiel hissed under his voice before pursued after the girl. He obviously felt the same emotions Sam felt.

Rage…fury…disappointment… But Sam also felt hope. Dean was still alive and even though the demon got away, they still had a chance in winning this fight. They would get the opportunity to kill that demon. If he's not possessing a little girl, anyway. Not in a hundred years, Sam would kill a child!

Sam walked towards the tree, gazing at Dean. He was surprised to see how green Dean's eyes were, so different from when he's older. Now they were still glittering, shiny, trying to see every movement in his surroundings.

And then Dean smiled and grabbed Sam's jacket with his tiny little hands, refusing to let go.

Sam laid his brother on the blanket and unclenched Dean's fingers. Dean waved his arms in joy and kicked his legs.

'Bye, big brother.' Sam whispered before getting up.

'Dean!'

Mary came running towards them, her face frozen with fear. Sam jumped up and stepped away from Dean, his hands in the air, trying to show Mary he didn't want to harm them. Mary quickly picked Dean up in her arms and backed away as well.

Sam could see his mother so clearly now. Her big blue eyes, her little nose, her full red lips, her pale skin, her blonde curls, her elegant body. Mary was the most beautiful woman Sam had ever seen and he couldn't understand how he could love her so much. He had never known her, had never had a bond with her, but still. Mary was his mother and he loved her with all his heart.

'I'm sorry,' Sam said, thinking quickly, 'I saw him lying here all alone and I was worried.'

Mary didn't answer.

'I just wanted to make sure he was alright.'

Mary's attitude then shifted. She wasn't hostile or scared anymore, but she still kept her distance. And Sam kept his as well; he didn't want to scare her away now that she had decided Sam was trustworthy.

Sam prayed to not be punished for this. Castiel had forbid him to make any contact with his family. So maybe God wasn't the right person to be asking help for. He would certainly team up with Castiel.

'Thanks.' Mary suddenly said.

Sam blinked his eyes a couple of times. He wasn't sure that what he had heard was the same thing Mary had actually said. Had she truly apologised to him? Wherefore?

'A girl said she lost her dog between the trees and that she couldn't find it anymore. You haven't seen a girl with black hair, have you?'

'No,' Sam lied, 'I'm sorry.'

'This was stupid anyway.' Mary muttered. 'I should never have left Dean with her.'

Mary's face had turned sad and she gazed at Dean as if she was trying to apologize to him.

'Thank you,' Mary repeated, shifting her look from Dean to Sam, 'You must think I'm a terrible mother.'

'No!' Sam nearly yelled making Mary jump up a little startled, 'of course you're not a bad mother. On the contrary, you seem wonderful!'

Mary blushed and tried to hide her face behind her long blonde curls. It made Sam smile.

'I feel like I should invite you for diner or something.' Mary said, 'Are you free tonight?'

'It's very polite of you,' Sam answered with pain in his heart, 'but no thanks.'

Of course he wanted to go to diner with his mother and father. He would have given anything in the past to get this opportunity, and now he was throwing it away! And Sam knew that this decision was going to haunt him for the rest of his life. He had missed the opportunity to get to know his parents a little better. He was dying to know what his dad was like before Mary had died. Was he as cheerful as her? Or was he still so down to earth?

'Too bad.' Mary sighed, shifting Dean to her other arm. His blanket slipped away from his belly and as soon as he saw Sam he started smiling and babbling. He stretched out his small arms towards Sam

'He likes you!' Mary laughed. 'I have never seen him so exited before.'

She handed Dean over to Sam who grabbed him tightly in his arms. He knew he should have refused, but he couldn't just walk away from this. Screw Castiel. He was given a chance to spend some time with his family and he was going to take it!

So there he stood, holding his brother in his arms and watching his mother sit down comfortable on Dean's blanket on the grass. It all made him feel reassured. Holding Dean was his prove that he still had a chance in saving him.

'He's a wonderful boy.' Mary said, 'He's smart, sweet and funny. He already knows how to make faces. John, my husband, says he didn't teach him, but I busted him a couple of days ago.'

Mary smiled, watching her son dooze of in Sam's arms. She started twitching a lock of her hair between her fingers and bit her lip. It all seemed so adorable and Sam could suddenly understand how John had become so bitter after her death. Losing such a sweet, wonderful wife, such a great mother for your children, that must leave its mark, and emptiness in your heart. And Sam was sure that when he was going to watch Mary leave, he would feel the same emptiness. He was already hating that moment.

'I should go home,' Mary said then, her voice a little sad, 'Dean needs to get a proper nap.'

Sam reluctantly handed Dean back to Mary.

'Thanks.' Mary said once more.

'No problem. Take care of yourself and of this little kid.' Sam answered.

Mary smiled one last time at Sam and then walked away.

Sam had been right. This moment did suck, this was worth hating. His mother was slowly slipping away from him and he had to fight the urge to run after her and tell her who he really was.

And then Castiel reappeared.


	10. Chapter 10

**10 - Diner**

His gaze followed Mary and Dean. His body was tense, his hands formed fists. Sam could only assume nothing good had happened. He turned his back to Mary and Dean, he could not watch them walk away from him anymore, and stared at Castiel with a worried look on his face. He didn't need words to ask Castiel what had happened.

'I couldn't track him anymore,' Castiel hissed, 'he must have used a hex bag.'

Sam's mind was working on top speed. So they had no idea where the demon was and Mary and Dean were out there all alone. For all they knew, they could be attacked already! Mary could be dead by now! Dean could be dead by now. No, that was impossible cause Sam was still alive and himself. Not an evil bastard killing all his friends and family. There was only one solution, Sam thought, they had to keep close to his family. The demon would walk straight into their hands.

'Then let us follow Mary and Dean.' Sam suggested.

Castiel let his gaze slide from Mary's back to Sam's eyes. His head turned slowly and Sam wasn't sure if that was a good thing. Was he still furious with the demon or did he want to smack Sam for such a ridiculous idea. No, it wasn't a ridiculous idea, it was the best chance they had.

'You disobeyed me.' Castiel said then, 'you made contact.'

'I had no choice,' Sam defended himself, 'besides, it's not as if it messed up anything. And she now knows me, she trusts me. I can protect them. She invited me for diner, let us just accept the invitation. Well, I'll accept it. I'll be so close around them that I can't miss the demon once it attacks! Mom and dad won't even notice and everything can return to normal. I mean, Dean is cute as a baby, but I like him better when he is actually four years older then me and not 25 years younger!'

Castiel stared at Sam with a puzzled look. It was obvious he was overthinking the whole idea. But he too knew they hadn't much of a choice. It was as if they were swimming in a dark ocean, not knowing whether to turn left or right. For all they knew, they could be swimming away from the shore. This was the same. Castiel had no idea what was going to happen next. Which decision would lead to Dean's death or his survival? He hated not knowing. When would the demon attack? Where would the demon attack? Had their intervention caused even bigger problems? If they failed now, if Dean died after a second attempt, what did that mean? Was Sam even more evil? Was he dead? Was Mary killed in order to get to Dean? That meant Sam would never even been born. So many questions and Castiel couldn't answer one of them.

But he had to make a choice and quick. The Winchesters always had good instincts, they followed their heart. It wouldn't always work out, but they had the best intentions. So perhaps it was time to trust Sam. At least he _had_ a plan.

'Alright,' Castiel said, 'we will follow your plan. You go to them, but don't reveal who you are, don't tell them anything. I will try to find the demon. Perhaps he will make a mistake. As soon as that happens, I'll be all over him.'

The words made Sam feel a little scared. He could sense the rage in them and he didn't want to be in the demon's shoes once Castiel found him. But Sam did have to admit that this was a smart demon. He knew how to keep himself of the radar, how to stay out of sight. Lilith must have told him all about the possible obstructions. God, he hated Lilith.

'Okay,' Sam said, 'Good luck.'

'Good luck to you too.'

And then Castiel took off. He didn't vanish like he was used to, he actually walked away. People where still watching them and they had suspicious looks in their eyes. They had obviously not forgotten what had happened before. And Sam had to admit it must have looked strange. He had pulled a baby out of a little girl's hands and then laid it back on a blanket while Mary had come running back to them. It was for the best if he would just walk away as well. And so he did.

The streets were still empty and the silence gave Sam the opportunity to think about stuff. He had to find a way to _accidentally_ cross paths with his mother again. He couldn't just ring her doorbell and say 'Hi, I changed my mind. I would love to come to diner.' Getting your nose slammed between a door could be very painful.

So he had to find another way. Sam brushed his hands through his hair and he thought about all the possibilities. And then his gaze focused on a car and his plan popped clear into his head. It would seem casual and not at all on purpose. He watched the street to spot any possible witnesses, but Sam didn't saw a soul.

There were four cars parked; only one of them had a window down, probably to ventilate. Pure good luck for Sam. He stretched his hand out and opened the door from the inside. He quickly sat behind the wheel and searched for a key in the glove department. There was none. He pulled out two strings from under the dashboard and tried to start the engine the good old fashion way. After a minute, the engine growled itself to life. Sam quickly drove away and prayed no one would notice the theft any time soon.

It took him another minute to reach his home. He parked a couple of houses further away and stepped out of the car. He opened the cap and watched all the wires under it. He had to screw with them, as if it was broken. He knew John was good with cars, so Sam had to be careful. It had to seem an accident or his cover would be blown.

But he didn't know much about cars, Dean had been the brother with a big love for these machines. Sam was more the book-guy. So Sam would have to guess. He sighed and cursed himself for never listening to Dean when he was trying to teach him something.

He pulled some wires and tried the engine. It didn't growl itself to life. Sam rubbed his dirty hands clean on his shirt and started walking towards his home. It surprised him that he needed to come to a halt in front of the door. He had to calm down, take deep breaths and prepare himself for talking to his mother again. But he wasn't scared or panicking. On the contrary, all he felt was excitement.

The door opened a couple of seconds after Sam had pushed the button.

'Oh,' Mary said stunned, 'it's you.'

'What a surprise.' Sam said in a cheery voice, trying to seem casual. 'I had some bad luck; my car gave out. I just want to use your phone if you don't mind.'

Mary immediately smiled and placed her hands in her thighs.

'And what, get your car back in a couple of days? John is mechanicus, he'll fix your car within a few seconds!' Mary smiled, obviously trilled that she was able to help him, 'he'll be home in an hour.'

'I don't want to bother you and…'

'It's no problem at all! In the meantime, you can stay for diner.'

The plan was working well, but Sam had to keep plying his role.

'Are you sure? I really don't want to…'

'I'm sure.' Mary quickly assured Sam. 'Come in, I was just starting diner. You're lucky you ended up here!'

Sam followed Mary towards the kitchen and he smelled all the wonderful flavours in his mouth. Carrots, beans, chicken, potatoes.

But that wasn't the most important thing he smelled. He smelled the house, his home. Sweet as it was, Sam couldn't help but breath it all in.

Sam then focused on his job again and looked around to spot Dean, but the baby chair was empty, as was the child park.

'Where's little Dean?' Sam asked.

'He's still sleeping. It was an exhausting afternoon.'

That wasn't very helpful. The demon could sneak in his nursery while he was sitting here. Nobody would hear him if he entered through the window.

Mary kept cooking and chatting about John and Dean. And Sam loved listening to her. Her voice was soft and he hated that he didn't have memories of himself as a child and Mary. He wondered if she had been as sweet with him as she was with baby Dean.

A front door opened and closed again and a deep and loving, voice yelled out.

'Honey, I'm home!'

'In the kitchen!' Mary yelled back.

Sam felt a shiver run through his body. But again, it wasn't caused by fear, it was excitement. Last time he had seen his father was from a distance and the time before that, he had been in a bad shape. Now he would get a chance to talk to him, he would be able to see him up close. Sam couldn't wait for John to enter the room.

'Oh,' John said as he saw Sam sitting at the table, 'I see we have a visitor.'

'I met him at the park,' Mary said while suddenly blushing, 'he... euhm…we had a nice talk. And then his car broke down and I promised him you would take a look at it.'

Sam saw in Mary's eyes she wasn't ready to tell the full story to John. She was still too ashamed.

'Let's take a look at it right now!' John said with a big smile, 'I'm John by the way.'

Sam took John's hand and shook it firmly.

'Sam.'

'Well, Sam, show me the way.'

He lead John towards his stolen car, feeling concern grow inside his chest. He wasn't keen on letting Mary and Dean all alone in that house, not while there was still a demon on the loose.

John opened the cap and bend over the engine. He muttered something, started twitching some wires and then ordered Sam to try start the engine. It came to life without hesitation.

'Here you go,' John smiled, 'all fixed. Old cars sometimes show problems like this. How old is it?'

'Euhm,' Sam said, 'I don't know.'

He had to come up with something better then that.

'I got it from my dad, he had him for a couple of years.'

'I see, well, you shouldn't be having any problems any time soon.' John said.

They walked back to the house and the smell of delicious food made their noses twinkle. A high pitch laugh filled the whole house and Sam saw how John's face immediately brightened up.

John walked straight towards his little son who was sitting in a baby chair and kissed his forehead. He picked Dean up in his arms and rocked him rough in his arms. Dean loved it and started clapping his hands while his high cheery laugh became even more louder.

'Well, diner is ready.' Mary smiled.

She grabbed 3 plates at placed them on the table, together with some glasses, knifes and forks.

After 10 minutes, all the Winchester were eating.

'So,' Mary said after a while, 'did you fix the car?'

'Yeah, it wasn't hard.' John answered proudly.

'Thanks again for that.' Sam said then.

'No problem.'

'You want some more potatoes?' Mary asked while holding out the mashed potatoes towards Sam.

Off course Sam wanted more potatoes. They were delicious! Much better then all that food they picked up in some diner. So Sam ate as much as he could and he saw John was doing the same.

And the evening passed so quickly. They talked about their day, about the park, cars, hobbies and much more. Sam had never felt so safe, so accepted. He was with his family, even though they had no idea who he was.

And then John took Dean up to take him to bed and Mary started cleaning up.

'I'll help.' Sam said. He picked up the empty plates and brought them to the sink.

'Thanks.' Mary smiled as she was letting the water run.

Sam loved seeing her smile and he would do anything to see her to it more often. He never wanted to forget her face so he imprinted it in his memory.

A loud crash caught Sam's and Mary's attention. It came from upstairs and Sam immediately knew what was happening.

----------------------------------------------

_A.N. : Waw, this chapter wrote very easely!! I try and publish the next chapter as soon as possible. Enjoy....and don't forget to tell me what you think about this story/chapter!!_


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Mary and Sam ran upstairs without hesitation. Sam knew what to except, but Mary wasn't.

Both their hearts pounded loudly and their thoughts were racing.

Sam grabbed the Colt he was hiding on his back but kept it under his shirt. Mary was right behind him and he didn't want to give his mother a heart attack. Sam was praying he wouldn't be too late, he had to safe Dean. No matter what!

When Sam entered the nursery, his breath stocked. John was laying on the floor, his eyes shut, his head bleeding. Dean was laying in his little bed but wasn't moving. He wasn't giggling or laughing. Sam felt Mary gasp for air as she saw what was going on, and he pulled her into his arms, stopping her from running inside the nursery, and he held her back even though she was trying to break free from his grip.

The demon, now in the body of an adult man with blond hair and bright blue eyes, was being pressed against the wall though nobody was holding him there. Castiel was looking at him with fire in his eyes. His hand curled into fists, his mouth pressed into one white line.

'Sam, do it now.' Castiel hissed under his breath. Sam swallowed and saw how Castiel was holding himself back. Like he wanted to lose his control an attack the demon by himself. Sam was terrified of the furious angel.

The demon started laughing loudly.

'Dean's little brother says '_hi'_ by the way, but perhaps he should say it himself, won't you Sam?'

Mary started fighting even harder against Sam's grip and he let her free. She staggered back and looked at Sam with a horrified gaze. Sam wanted to reassure her, but there were more urgent things to do. He mouthed '_I'm sorry'_ towards her and then faced the demon again. He now grabbed the Colt for real and pointed it at the blonde man. He knew he was about to murder an innocent man, but he had to do it. It was still better then a little girl. But that didn't mean he had to like it.

'I'm sorry.' Sam repeated before firing the Colt. For a second it appeared that the demon's inside was on fire, his veins lit up in bright orange and red, and then the man slumped towards the floor. Castiel was satisfied and couldn't hold back a faint smile. He walked towards Dean and pressed his hand against his head.

'He needs a hospital.' Castiel said in a worried tone.

Sam turned around again to watch Mary. Her eyes were red and tears were rolling over her cheeks and her mouth was covered with her hands. She shook her head lightly and gazed into Sam's eyes with pure fear.

'John will be fine.' Castiel continued.

'You…' Mary uttered.

'Mary…' Sam whispered, 'This isn't what you think it is.'

'The demon said…'

'No, it's…'

'You killed Dean! You killed your own brother!'

'I…'

'Get away from me!' Mary yelled as Sam tried to walk closer towards her.

'I didn't kill Dean, besides, he's not dead.' Sam said, 'I would never want to kill Dean.'

'But the demon…' Mary muttered, not understanding a thing of what's going on.

'Who are you going to believe? Your own son or a demon who just tried to kill Dean?'

Mary was stunned and her mouth popped open. Her eyes widened and she came to a halt.

'Wait…' Mary said as she closed her eyes, trying to make sense out of all this, 'you're really my son, my youngest son?'

'Yes.' Sam confirmed.

'And demons are after you?'

'Always.' Sam answered.

'That means you are hunters, like I used to be.'

Sam only nodded his head.

'I had sworn my children would never become hunters.' She cried.

'Mom…' Sam whispered. He hated watching her like that.

Castiel came standing next to him, Dean in his arms, wrapped in a blanket. He seemed uneasy with the baby and looked at Sam, begging him to take Dean over.

'He needs a hospital.' Castiel repeated.

Mary's gaze snapped up and she focused on her baby. She grabbed him out of Castiel's hands and cradled him in her arms.

'And John?' she asked while she was packing stuff for Dean. Mostly clothes and teddy bears.

'He'll be fine.' Castiel answered her. He laid his hand once again on John's forehead and closed his eyes, concentrating on something. Mary and Sam watched him, wondering what he was doing.

'He won't remember what happened, it must stay that way.'

Sam nodded, but Mary looked puzzled.

'It's important that we don't change anything. John isn't supposed to know about the supernatural until it's meant for him to know.'

'Okay,' Mary sighed, 'let's go.'

Sam lifted John up in his arms and laid him over his shoulder, his knees trembling under the heavy weight. He hurried towards the car and placed him on the backseat. Mary sat in the passenger seat in the front with Dean in her arms. Sam was driving. Castiel would take a shortcut and join them as soon as they arrived at the hospital.

'What will we tell the doctors?' Mary asked.

Sam looked at her and saw how she was trembling, panicking. And he knew it wasn't for the doctor-thing. She was freaking out because her family was being threatened, her son was harmed. Sam knew it, he saw it in her eyes as sure he was that Mary would see it in his.

And he couldn't blame her. Seeing your son in pain, your infant, it must be terrifying. Even Sam felt his mind panicking seeing Dean lay so motionless in Mary's arms.

'We'll say John fell from the stairs while holding Dean.' Sam answered.

Mary only nodded, tears falling down on Dean's blanket.

'He's going to be fine. As long as I'm around and taking care of you, means that Dean will be fine.'

'What?'

'I'll explain later.' Sam said.

The rest of their drive to the hospital was spent in silence. Mary gently rocked Dean in her arms, breathing out his name in silence, while trying to wake him up, but Dean never did. He kept motionless. It was almost as if he was vast asleep.

Mary couldn't stop crying, trying to hide her face from Sam, but she knew it was pointless. Her sobs kept coming as her panic kept racing through her veins.

Once arrived, Mary ran inside with Dean, Sam following a couple of seconds later with a heavy John on his shoulder.

'What happened?' a nurse demanded while searching for a pulse in Dean's neck.

'My husband fell down the stairs while holding him. I think he suffocated him.' Mary lied in a trembling voice. Not that it was trembling because she was lying, more because the nurse apparently didn't found a pulse.

Doctors immediately came running towards them and helped them. Mary's face saddened as her son was taken away from her and her legs started shaking as her husband was brought away on a bed.

'You can wait here.' a nurse said as she guided them to an empty room.

Mary fell down on the chair, her head cradled in her hands. Sam chose the bed to let himself properly calm down. He watched Mary mutter things to herself and Sam wished he knew what they were.

'Are doctors taking care of them?'

Mary jumped up, startled by the sudden appearance of Castiel. Sam was getting used to it and he just let his gaze fall open Castiel's eyes.

'Yes.' Sam answered.

'You told them the lie?' he asked.

'Yes, they think John fell down the stairs.'

'Good.'

'The demon is dead, shouldn't you take me home now?' Sam asked.

'Not yet.' Castiel answered, lowering his gaze as if he was avoiding Sam's.

Sam didn't understand. Why would Castiel do that? He was hiding something, he must be, but what? Why would he keep Sam here a little while longer? He had said that as soon as Dean was saved, he would return. The answer was actually very simple, Sam thought, Dean isn't saved yet. His faith wasn't set straight yet. He could still die.

'I disposed the body in the nursery.' Castiel then said.

'Who are you?' Mary demanded then, waving her hands in the air.

'That's Castiel,' Sam answered in Castiel's place, 'he's an angel.'

'An angel?' Mary said with disbelieve.

'He helped me save Dean. He saved Dean quite a lot actually.'

'Saved Dean?'

'Yeah,' Sam said, 'Like the first time today, for example.'

'Wait… What?' Mary said then, closing her eyes again and trying to grasp all of this.

'In the park,' Sam explained, 'the girl who lost her dog.'

'She was possessed?'

'His assignment was to kill Dean in my name. I never gave that order. Lilith, a very powerful demon, kind off my arch-enemy, wants me dead or evil. One way to do that is by killing Dean. This way I would have never known him and he would never have kept me safe from her.'

Mary swallowed heavily and then cradled her head once again in her hands.

'This is too much,' she whispered with a broken voice, 'I never wanted this for you.'

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_AN: So, I hope you're still liking this story...Any remarks or suggestions are welcome! It can help me write better. _

_Also, thanks for al the nice reviews, they really help me write better and faster. So keep them coming and I'll_

_keep the story coming!  
_


	12. Chapter 12

**12**** – Life or Death**

'Don't blame yourself, mom,' Sam comforted her, 'none of this is your fault.'

She sighed and then watched her son.

'I'm proud of you, you know that? You're risking your life to safe Dean.'

Sam blushed and hid his face behind his hands. He loved hearing those words come from his mother. Which son didn't love those words? Just hearing them made all of this worth it.

Mary laid her head against the wall and closed her eyes, taking deep breaths and calming herself down. He body relaxed, her hands fell lose on the armrests. For a moment, Sam thought she had fallen asleep, but the slightest sound made her eyes flutter open, made her body tense again.

Around ten in the evening, a nurse came to inform them that they were able to go see John.

Mary's eyes had lit up, but they still were too dull for what they had been. Sam missed her brilliant gaze, piercing straight through him. But he knew it would be a while before she got her diamonds back. John and Dean would have to be home.

John would make it, but they still hadn't heard from Dean. They still had no idea what was going on. His faith still hung in balance. It had to shift to the right or to the left. To life or death.

Mary stood up and followed the nurse outside into the hallway. But Sam blocked the exit, forcing Castiel to stay with his for a minute. Of course Castiel could just disappear if he anted to leave, but the angel had no reason to do so.

'Why won't you help him?' Sam demanded.

'It's up to Dean now.' Castiel simply stated.

Sam had spent enough time with Castiel now to know that tone on the end of his sentence. This meant this conversation was over. John had used it enough over the past years, but Sam had always kept arguing.

But this was Castiel, an angel and Sam hated to admit that he was afraid to ague. He had seen Castiel pissed of, he had seen how the demon was pressed against the wall in Dean's nursery. If Castiel didn't want him dead so much, Sam was sure the demon would have gotten tortures a little bit first. But Dean had been more important, he had needed a hospital. Castiel probably cursed himself for not taking that opportunity to torture a little.

Sam turned around and quickly followed Mary and the nurse into the hallway. Castiel slowly walked behind them. They crossed a couple of halls, went up 2 floors and crossed another hall before reaching John's room.

'He needs rest,' the nurse warned them, 'but you can stay for the rest of the night.'

'What about my son? Dean?' Mary asked.

The nurse sighed. 'I don't know, the doctors are still working on him.'

Mary only nodded, thanked the nurse and then entered John's room. To everybody's surprise, he was sitting up in his bed. Mary immediate fell into his arms and pressed her lips onto his.

'Wh…what happened?' John asked after he had his breath back.

'Oh, honey,' Mary sighed, hesitating a little before answering. Sam knew she was having second thoughts about lying to John. 'You don't remember?'

'I remember taking Dean upstairs and then everything goes dark.'

'You fell,' Mary lied, 'with Dean in your arms.'

Sam got a quick peek at Mary's eyes and he saw they were filled with repulsion. Of course she hated lying, especially to John.

'I did?' John asked shocked.

Mary only nodded.

'And Dean?'

'I don't know.' Mary said in a shaky voice.

John let his gaze drop into his lap and Sam saw a tear falling onto his arm. Another one quickly followed. But John took in a deep breath and forced himself to suck it up.

'Dean is a strong kid, John, he'll be fine.'

John looked up at Mary, looking disgusted with himself and then he spotted Sam and Castiel. He frowned and then turned to look at Mary again. She smiled weakly and then gently streaked John's cheek.

'Sam helped you get her. The other man is Castiel, a…friend of Sam.'

'Oh,' John sighed, not rally caring about all that, 'thanks, I guess.'

Sam smiled faintly while Castiel stood like a statue, barely any emotions visible in his face. His gaze was fuzzy. Sam knew Castiel wasn't really here, not with his mind anyway. And then his blue eyes focused, almost like a lens zooming in, getting a sharp image.

'It's time.' He announced.

Sam frowned and looked at Castiel with a questioning look, but then Sam understood and his eyes widened, his face lit up.

'To go back?' Sam asked. He needed to be sure. False hope would only push him over the edge of a valley. He desperately needed rest, just a minute of peace. Going back home to an adult Dean would cover that.

'Yes.' Castiel answered. He turned around and left a stunned Mary and John behind. Sam quickly followed him, gazing at his parents once more. As soon as he was out in the hall, he had to stop himself from running back inside. He wanted to say a proper goodbye, but he knew it would only make it hurt more. And John wouldn't understand anyway. It was better this way.

But Mary's voice called out to him. She stood in the hall as well, before a closed door, her hands still on the door latch. Sam couldn't help but smile hen he saw her. He looked at Castiel, begging for a moment and the angel nodded. Sam went standing in front of Mary and they were both smiling now.

'So you're going back?' To the future?' she asked.

Sam nodded.

'So Dean is going to be okay?'

'Yeah,' Sam answered, 'trust me, he'll be great.'

'I have so many questions for you, but I try to keep them locked up in my chest. It's hard, though.' She laughed faintly.

Sam smiled even harder. He would never tell her about the future. He knew she would despise everything about it and he didn't want to ruin her life.

'But I'm glad to know that I'm going to have another wonderful son. Too bad John will never know.'

'I love you, mom.' Sam barely choked out. He just had to say it and it didn't really matter, did it? It wasn't going to change the future.

Mary pulled Sam close to her and hugged him, having to stand on the tips of her toes. She kissed his cheek and whispered into his ear: 'Take care.'

Sam hugged his mother back and then let go. He smiled one last time at her and turned around and walked to Castiel. The world trembled under his feet and then faded. Mary was gone and Sam already felt his heart aching for her. God, he would miss her.

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_AN: So, what did you think about this chapter? I really hated syaing goodby to Mary. Doesn't everybody love her? :D_


	13. Chapter 13

**13**** – Back**

The world started shifting and Sam knew it would be the last time. He was going back and he didn't really know what to feel. He was happy, relieved, delighted, satisfied,… He was going to get Dean back after all. But leaving his parents, it was heartbreaking. He knew it had been the last time he was going to lay eyes upon them and that thought tortured him like hell.

Just as the last time, time-travelling with Castiel went fast. In a blink of the eye, Sam was back in 2008.

Everything was dark, nearly black, and Sam didn't understand. His body felt heavy, his legs almost numb. He tried to feel his surroundings and then came to the conclusion that he was sitting in a seat. Something cold was pressed against his forehead and sharp streaks of light danced in front of him.

Only then he realised that his eyes were closed and that his mind was still very dull, as if he was waking up from a long and intense dream. Had he dreamed all of it? Was nothing real? He opened his eyes and immediately searched for Dean. His bog brother was sleeping, his breathing slow and his mouth mumbling soft words. They were in the Impala.

Sam rubbed his fingers through his hair and he couldn't suppress a yawn. And then he sensed it. He couldn't explain how, but he just knew. If someone was watching you, staring at you, you feel it. The little hairs on your arms and in the back of your neck go stand upright.

Sam turned around and nearly jumped up his seat as he saw Castiel sitting on the backseat of the Impala. His gaze shifted between Sam and Dean, his body motionless. Only his eyes moved.

'You like doing that, don't you?' Sam whispered. He didn't want to wake Dean.

Castiel's eyes simple locked upon Sam.

'I guess you do.' Sam smiled.

'Everything is back to normal.' Castiel said as he grabbed one of the magazines in from the backseat, quickly flipping though the pages. A faint mocking smile became visible on his face.

'People believe so much.' He laughed. He dropped the magazine and turned his full attention to Sam again.

'So,' Sam begun, 'it's really over?'

'Yes, you saved your brother.'

Sam sighed in relieve, watching Dean as he slept through this whole conversation. He turned back to face Castiel, but all he got was an empty backseat.

And then Dean slowly woke up, just like the first time. At least for as long as Sam could remember. A lot happened since then and he couldn't believe Dean, had no clue. But that was probably for the best. Sam had seen the pain carved in Dean's face right before he had vanished, right before when Sam had thought he had lost his brother.

But he had him back now and that is all that really matters. His life was back on track. Sam couldn't help but stare at his brother. It's when you nearly loose someone that you understand what that person means to you, how much you love him, that you know how much you care about him. Sam had always known he loved Dean, but he had never understood it. He thought it came naturally with the blood bond they shared. Off course Sam loved Dean and Dean loved Sam. They would go through fire and hell to each other safe. Souls were traded to safe one other. But now Sam knew why and the answer was actually really simple.

It wasn't simple because they were brothers that they loved each other, no, they had spent every minute with each other, they grew up together. They suffered the same loses, the same pain, the same joy,… That creates a bond, and in their case, it is unbreakable. Nothing could separate them and they would literally die for one other.

And knowing that the other one would always be there, that he would jump through a veil of fire, it reassured him. It made Sam sleep well at night.

He smiled as Dean's eyes fluttered open.

'I never realised how much I missed sleeping.' Dean smiled, now stretching his legs.

Sam shifted his balance and let his head fall against the window.

'Yeah, you slept well.'

'Well, I was exhausted. Haven't you slept?' Dean asked.

Sam had slept, but he didn't now for how long. When had Castiel brought him back? How had he brought him back? Was he ever gone here of had Dean never noticed anything. It was confirmed; Sam hated time travelling. None of it made sense.

Dean straightened up and searched for his keys. Sam couldn't suppress a laugh.

'What? Did I say funny words in my sleep again?' Dean asked suspiciously.

'No,' Sam laughed, 'last time I saw sleep, you couldn't even talk.'

Sam thought about that time in the park 29 years ago; baby Dean dozing of in his arms. It had been funny.

'What are you talking about?'

'It's a long story. But we better get going to Illinois, there might be a case their. I'll tell you everything on the way.'

Dean watched Sam with narrowed eyes, but he seemed to decide he could trust on Sam's word. He started the engine and headed to their hotel to pick up their stuff.

And as they finally drove to Illinois, their stuff loaded in the back seat, Dean watched Sam and he didn't need words to express what he wanted.

Sam just smiled and thought about everything that had happened. He didn't really know where to begin. But he knew what would make both him and Dean happy.

'I met mom!' Sam smiled, his eyes brilliant like diamonds, just as Mary's were when she was having the best day of her life. Dean's face lightened up and he watched Sam with disbelieve in his eyes.

'She was amazing.'

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The End

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_AN: So, I really enjoyed writing those story, but did you all enjoy reading it?_

_Review and tell me all about it. It can only help me write better stories!!!_


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